Orange County Buddhist Church
Orange County Buddhist Church
This past week I attended the BCA National Council meetings in San Jose. This year for the first time, the meeting schedule was reduced and more time was given for speakers and workshops. It was a tremendous meeting this year, especially because of our main speaker, Professor Takamaro Shigaraki, who was my Sensei when I studied at Ryukoku University some twenty years ago. Shigaraki-Sensei gave a lecture one evening that was most dynamic and powerful.
I would like to share with you one important part of his lecture, in which he talked about the self that sees the self. I know that this sounds like some kind of Zen koan, like, “soundless sound” or “does a dog have Buddha-nature?”
Sensei explained that in Buddhism, when we awaken to the heart of the Dharma, there is a world in which we are able to see ourselves, as if there were another self looking at us. Normally, we only see the world from our own self centered view point. No matter how much we might say that we self reflect, that we have self understanding, that we have self esteem, that we have self confidence, those are all the self that lives in the world of ignorance or delusion. It is the world of the self that cannot truly see itself.
Our deluded self is like a person who is drunk at a party and refuses to give someone their keys. The person is drunk and out of control. They cannot drive home safely, so someone kindly offers to drive them home if they will give them their keys. But the drunk person doesn’t think they are drunk. “What me drunk?! I’m not drunk! I’m fine. Leave me alone!” they exclaim, all the time staggering and slurring their words. The person who is drunk cannot see themselves and the state they are in. In that sense, our unenlightened, unawakened self is like that --- unable to see itself.
Another example is if you are having an argument with someone and tempers arise. The person you are arguing with might even say, “Well, you don’t have to get mad about it!” In great anger you respond, “What me?! I’m not angry! What makes you think I’m angry!!” all the time shouting at the top of our lungs. The self that is angry, cannot see itself.
In the Buddhist world of awakening, however, there is another self, a true self if you will, that sees the ego self. Sensei shared a beautiful example of what this means.
It seems that many years ago at his temple in Hiroshima, there was an older man who was quite renowned for his deep understanding of the Nembutsu. One day, some young mischievous kids played an awful prank on him. As the man was walking along the road, these young boys jumped the man and pushed him into a muddy rice paddy. The boys ran away, but the man did not run after them or yell at them. Instead they heard the man mumbling something as he picked himself up from the muddy field.
Years later, one of the mischievous boys who had now become an adult, maybe partially because of a guilty conscious, one day approached this man and confessed that years ago he was one of the young boys who had pushed him into the pond. He asked the elderly gentleman, “Why didn’t you get mad? What was it that you were muttering to yourself?”
The elderly gentleman replied, “Oh, I got mad alright. But I heard the voice of the Buddha calling to me saying, “They’re just kids. Let it go. Let it go.”
As Shigaraki Sensei explained, this voice of the Buddha is the self that is able to see the self. For this devout follower of the Nembutsu, in his heart he is angered like anyone else, but rather than reacting like most of us would do, there is another self within him that sees that ego self that is angered. Having that capacity to see the self that reacts in anger, prevents him from lashing out like a normal person would.
I heard of a similar incident that happened to Rev. Gyomay Kubose, the author of Everyday Suchness. Rev. Kubose’s temple is in a very bad neighborhood in Chicago, and the temple frequently had problems with vandalism and things of that nature. Rev. Kubose did most of the gardening work for the temple, as he was once a gardener when he was young. Sensei also loved flowers and enjoyed spending time working in the temple yard. One day some mischievous boys sprayed Sensei with a water hose and got him all drenched. Rev. Kubose did not chase after the boys or even yell at them. Many days later, amazingly, one of the boys came up to him and apologized for what he did. Sensei befriended many young people in the community over the years through his conversations while working in the yard.
The Buddhist world of awakening opens up our hearts and minds to such a self that sees oneself. Normally, we cannot even physically see ourselves, much less our ego self. My wife has to always point out to me when I have lint on my jacket or a thread hanging, because I can’t even see what is right under my nose. How much harder is it for me to see my ego self. If we awaken to the world of the self that sees the self, then whenever we get angry, greedy, jealous, hurt, or embarrassed, there is the true self that sees the self. The true self is able to say, “Oh, there goes my anger again. There goes my greediness again. There goes my ego again.” Unless we have the self that sees the self, we will just explode with our anger, greed, hatred, or jealousy.
I wonder how much suffering and strife in this world could be saved, if more people had a self that sees the self. Strained relationships between parents and children, husbands and wives, bosses and employees, might be saved or healed if people had a self that sees the self. How many wars, how much suffering in the world could be avoided if world leaders have a self that sees the self.
Shin Buddhism’s great contribution to the world might be to show the people of the world the self that is able to truly see the self.
Namuamidabutsu,
Rev. Marvin Harada
